Tuesday 27 November 2012

Instant gratification vs delayed gratification



The older generations had a good balance between instant and delayed gratification. Telephones never existed. They wrote letters. It took weeks; months even to get a reply to “wt u up 2”. They waited eons to share their feelings. The concept of beneficial friends was foreign or was a simple one night stand that left the woman in tears. One night stands were rare. People had patience when it came to love and were hasty when it came to hard work. Instant gratification = satisfaction of a hard days’ work. Delayed gratification = relationships.

Today we have it royally fucked up, myself included. We lose our minds if we don’t get a reply in 5mins, imagine waiting 5 days??? Someone said we are addicted to technology and social networks. I disagree, we addicted to the high technology and social networks bring us. If you have an iPhone with no WiFi, a blackberry with no BIS, Facebook with no friends, Twitter with no followers, will you still be addicted?

We are in a hurry to get that rush of adrenalin or hormones constantly! We do anything and everything to get it. You judge drug addicts? Why? We are just like them. Checking facebook constantly to see if there’s something that special someone put up for you that will prove he or she loves you; waiting for constant validation and attention from people that really want the same thing. We do it by adding a new photo or updating a status. No one genuinely wants to share their lives with you; they want you to envy them so they can feel satisfied, accomplished and whole.  What do you think that is? It’s an addiction to instant gratification.

I believe it’s one of the reasons we’ve become so stupid. Technology made life too easy and too quick. Messages like “wud” have replaced long hand written conversations where spelling and grammar don’t need to be shortened. The shortening of the words happened because people were in a hurry to get the reply, instant gratification at its finest. He doesn’t have the time to type “the” so he’ll use “d” instead. If he’s in such a hurry to get words out of you what makes you think he’ll stick around when his had his fill?

Another example of instant gratification is friends with benefits. Since when is it ok to get involved with someone to get your physical needs met quickly without question? We were designed to love. Sex was given to us to express that love and today we use it as a coping mechanism, a drug, way to trap guys or a way to get what we want. It’s no longer a sacred union between two people. It makes all the nagging, commitment and relationship issues worth it. If his not into you he just isn’t. If he is into you he will talk to you first every single time. He will make the effort to help you understand his feelings. Rushing to reply, talking to him all the time, checking facebook every 5 mins, becoming his bitch because it’s the only way he’ll touch you, will not change anything.

 

We rush through things we should cherish and delay things we should do now. ‘I’ll finish the assignment tomorrow”, “I’ll travel when I’m 30”, “I’ll go into scarf when I’m married”, “I’ll study a day before the test”. “I’ll start my diet and workout on Monday”. Finish the fucking assignment NOW! Get on the fucking plane NOW! When you’re 30 you’ll be in hospital giving birth. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, you may never get married or your husband may hate scarfs. Study NOW! Work hard! What the fuck do you have to lose? If that boy likes you so much he’ll stick around till the holidays and probably for the rest of your life. Get off your ass, let every day be Monday. You’ll see results in a month, your family will see it in two and the rest of the world will see it in three.  We need to stop making excuses for ourselves and get things done NOW! We need to stop making excuses for him or her and realize we deserve better . . . we’ve swapped the delayed gratification of relationships for the delayed gratification of finishing work at the last minute and instant gratification of hard work for the instant gratification of a hormonal high.

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