The older generations had a good balance between instant and
delayed gratification. Telephones never existed. They wrote letters. It took weeks;
months even to get a reply to “wt u up 2”. They waited eons to share their
feelings. The concept of beneficial friends was foreign or was a simple one
night stand that left the woman in tears. One night stands were rare. People had
patience when it came to love and were hasty when it came to hard work. Instant
gratification = satisfaction of a hard days’ work. Delayed gratification =
relationships.
Today we have it royally fucked up, myself included. We lose
our minds if we don’t get a reply in 5mins, imagine waiting 5 days??? Someone said
we are addicted to technology and social networks. I disagree, we addicted to the
high technology and social networks bring us. If you have an iPhone with no
WiFi, a blackberry with no BIS, Facebook with no friends, Twitter with no
followers, will you still be addicted?
We are in a hurry to get that rush of adrenalin or hormones
constantly! We do anything and everything to get it. You judge drug addicts? Why?
We are just like them. Checking facebook constantly to see if there’s something
that special someone put up for you that will prove he or she loves you; waiting
for constant validation and attention from people that really want the same
thing. We do it by adding a new photo or updating a status. No one genuinely
wants to share their lives with you; they want you to envy them so they can
feel satisfied, accomplished and whole. What
do you think that is? It’s an addiction to instant gratification.
I believe it’s one of the reasons we’ve become so stupid. Technology
made life too easy and too quick. Messages like “wud” have replaced long hand written
conversations where spelling and grammar don’t need to be shortened. The shortening
of the words happened because people were in a hurry to get the reply, instant
gratification at its finest. He doesn’t have the time to type “the” so he’ll
use “d” instead. If he’s in such a hurry to get words out of you what makes you
think he’ll stick around when his had his fill?
Another example of instant gratification is friends with
benefits. Since when is it ok to get involved with someone to get your physical
needs met quickly without question? We were designed to love. Sex was given to
us to express that love and today we use it as a coping mechanism, a drug, way
to trap guys or a way to get what we want. It’s no longer a sacred union
between two people. It makes all the nagging, commitment and relationship
issues worth it. If his not into you he just isn’t. If he is into you he will
talk to you first every single time. He will make the effort to help you
understand his feelings. Rushing to reply, talking to him all the time, checking
facebook every 5 mins, becoming his bitch because it’s the only way he’ll touch
you, will not change anything.
We rush through things we should cherish and delay things we
should do now. ‘I’ll finish the assignment tomorrow”, “I’ll travel when I’m 30”,
“I’ll go into scarf when I’m married”, “I’ll study a day before the test”. “I’ll
start my diet and workout on Monday”. Finish the fucking assignment NOW! Get on
the fucking plane NOW! When you’re 30 you’ll be in hospital giving birth. Don’t
make promises you can’t keep, you may never get married or your husband may
hate scarfs. Study NOW! Work hard! What the fuck do you have to lose? If that
boy likes you so much he’ll stick around till the holidays and probably for the
rest of your life. Get off your ass, let every day be Monday. You’ll see
results in a month, your family will see it in two and the rest of the world
will see it in three. We need to stop
making excuses for ourselves and get things done NOW! We need to stop making excuses
for him or her and realize we deserve better . . . we’ve swapped the delayed
gratification of relationships for the delayed gratification of finishing work
at the last minute and instant gratification of hard work for the instant
gratification of a hormonal high.
