Life revolves around eleven minutes, depends on eleven minutes, requires eleven minutes, loves for eleven minutes, lies for eleven minutes, fights for eleven minutes and cries for eleven minutes.
What are those eleven minutes?
What if we took the desire out of a situation. What if we had to pick partners based on their personalities and the colour of their souls? People would go wild. No one would find partners. We crave the chase, the game, the rejection, the pain. All these sufferings take part in helping us to rule out the men and women who aren't “the one”. Or at least that's what we tell ourselves. Yes I use the word suffering. We love to suffer, all we do is suffer and what's worse is that we enjoy our suffering. We need the pain to escape something, something that anchors us into the moment. We don't want to live in the moment. We like waiting for him or her to come home, but when his here we can't wait till he leaves to miss him again. To suffer missing him. You love the suffering you feel when his not there and not the soul standing in front of you.
I'd catch a grenade for you...but if you really loved me, you wouldn't actually allow me to.
Mermaid Syndrome
Tuesday 15 January 2013
I'd catch a grenade for you...
Life revolves around eleven minutes, depends on eleven minutes, requires eleven minutes, loves for eleven minutes, lies for eleven minutes, fights for eleven minutes and cries for eleven minutes.
What are those eleven minutes?
What if we took the desire out of a situation. What if we had to pick partners based on their personalities and the colour of their souls? People would go wild. No one would find partners. We crave the chase, the game, the rejection, the pain. All these sufferings take part in helping us to rule out the men and women who aren't “the one”. Or at least that's what we tell ourselves. Yes I use the word suffering. We love to suffer, all we do is suffer and what's worse is that we enjoy our suffering. We need the pain to escape something, something that anchors us into the moment. We don't want to live in the moment. We like waiting for him or her to come home, but when his here we can't wait till he leaves to miss him again. To suffer missing him. You love the suffering you feel when his not there and not the soul standing in front of you.
I'd catch a grenade for you...but if you really loved me, you wouldn't actually allow me to.
Not quite 11 minutes but good enough
It's better
to love and lose then think you love and live a monotonous life. Someone once
said: "your story with him is so sad, so tragic" and I smiled. She
couldn't understand why I smile and no longer cry. Truth is every tear, every
smile, every emotion I experience is a blessing. He blessed me with his time
and love. I was lucky to have felt that close to someone and that kind of
passion. Life is all about those eleven minutes. It's what produces life, leads
some lives, what some lives revolve around, what other lives spend half their
lives looking for, what some people sell to survive. With him...it would've
been hours. That's a lifetime. A lifetime I've experienced over and over
without experiencing the essential eleven. Your heart should be a wine glass.
How full should it be before expressing the love? It should over flow. There
should be no other way to describe how one feels. It should be so natural, like
instincts, Luke there's nothing else on the planet that would make sense but
intimacy. It should fall into place, and it will. Most people aren't lucky
enough to experience that. Some marry and never experience it. Some experience
it for one night. Does that make the gift any less special? Any less of a gift?
Any less of a blessing?
We as humans can't accept that everything has a shelf life. Nothing is eternal. Maybe you have that type of love, but believe me he wasn't born with it.
We as humans can't accept that everything has a shelf life. Nothing is eternal. Maybe you have that type of love, but believe me he wasn't born with it.
Blood sucking and hard f…you know what I mean
“Sweetheart you are not Anastasia Steele. Becoming his bitch
will not make him love you. 50 Shades of Grey is an adult version of twilight.
If you think his your Christian Grey you may as well believe he drinks blood
and sparkles.” – A.A
It makes me nervous. I’ve read all four twilight books as
well as all three of the 50 Shades of Grey. I’m 21. Some may believe I’m too
young to read 50 Shades, and there’s a part of me that agrees. Girls that are
16 are reading it and using it as a guide to find love. There’s a living
breathing example on my facebook friends list. A young girl, recently turned
18, made a deal to sleep with a 38 year old divorced, Christian man with four
kids. She fell in love and is now a young Muslim girl in love with a much older
ugly man because she read 50 shades and she believes that this man will be her
Grey. He’s her fucked up fifty that she wants to save and she’s his little
slutty Ana. She literally calls him ‘Sir’!!! Not only did she ruin a perfectly
good fictional story for me; she also made me spit coffee all over my friends
face with her facebook status'.
Christian Grey is a man with a complex character, deep
seeded issues that are realistic, but the way he deals with them, and her is
unrealistic. A man like that isn’t always lucky enough to turn out relatively
normal, which is what he is. Real life is harsh. A man THAT possessive, needy,
over protective, and controlling as Edward Cullen or Christian Grey is usually
abusive (they might not even realize it).
After I read twilight and 50 I didn’t go around looking for
a shiny hungry man or S and M. Why is it that girls do?
I believe that if you look for either of them, you aren't
emotionally intelligent enough to be reading those books. Only emotionally sane
and rational people know that all those qualities don't exist without serious
consequences. Whats worse is that young adults think its okay to advertise the
fact that they like and are looking for sex from older domineering men. Even
THEY get boyfriends! Oh well...on the bright side at least they're getting
laid.
Tuesday 27 November 2012
Instant gratification vs delayed gratification
The older generations had a good balance between instant and
delayed gratification. Telephones never existed. They wrote letters. It took weeks;
months even to get a reply to “wt u up 2”. They waited eons to share their
feelings. The concept of beneficial friends was foreign or was a simple one
night stand that left the woman in tears. One night stands were rare. People had
patience when it came to love and were hasty when it came to hard work. Instant
gratification = satisfaction of a hard days’ work. Delayed gratification =
relationships.
Today we have it royally fucked up, myself included. We lose
our minds if we don’t get a reply in 5mins, imagine waiting 5 days??? Someone said
we are addicted to technology and social networks. I disagree, we addicted to the
high technology and social networks bring us. If you have an iPhone with no
WiFi, a blackberry with no BIS, Facebook with no friends, Twitter with no
followers, will you still be addicted?
We are in a hurry to get that rush of adrenalin or hormones
constantly! We do anything and everything to get it. You judge drug addicts? Why?
We are just like them. Checking facebook constantly to see if there’s something
that special someone put up for you that will prove he or she loves you; waiting
for constant validation and attention from people that really want the same
thing. We do it by adding a new photo or updating a status. No one genuinely
wants to share their lives with you; they want you to envy them so they can
feel satisfied, accomplished and whole. What
do you think that is? It’s an addiction to instant gratification.
I believe it’s one of the reasons we’ve become so stupid. Technology
made life too easy and too quick. Messages like “wud” have replaced long hand written
conversations where spelling and grammar don’t need to be shortened. The shortening
of the words happened because people were in a hurry to get the reply, instant
gratification at its finest. He doesn’t have the time to type “the” so he’ll
use “d” instead. If he’s in such a hurry to get words out of you what makes you
think he’ll stick around when his had his fill?
Another example of instant gratification is friends with
benefits. Since when is it ok to get involved with someone to get your physical
needs met quickly without question? We were designed to love. Sex was given to
us to express that love and today we use it as a coping mechanism, a drug, way
to trap guys or a way to get what we want. It’s no longer a sacred union
between two people. It makes all the nagging, commitment and relationship
issues worth it. If his not into you he just isn’t. If he is into you he will
talk to you first every single time. He will make the effort to help you
understand his feelings. Rushing to reply, talking to him all the time, checking
facebook every 5 mins, becoming his bitch because it’s the only way he’ll touch
you, will not change anything.
We rush through things we should cherish and delay things we
should do now. ‘I’ll finish the assignment tomorrow”, “I’ll travel when I’m 30”,
“I’ll go into scarf when I’m married”, “I’ll study a day before the test”. “I’ll
start my diet and workout on Monday”. Finish the fucking assignment NOW! Get on
the fucking plane NOW! When you’re 30 you’ll be in hospital giving birth. Don’t
make promises you can’t keep, you may never get married or your husband may
hate scarfs. Study NOW! Work hard! What the fuck do you have to lose? If that
boy likes you so much he’ll stick around till the holidays and probably for the
rest of your life. Get off your ass, let every day be Monday. You’ll see
results in a month, your family will see it in two and the rest of the world
will see it in three. We need to stop
making excuses for ourselves and get things done NOW! We need to stop making excuses
for him or her and realize we deserve better . . . we’ve swapped the delayed
gratification of relationships for the delayed gratification of finishing work
at the last minute and instant gratification of hard work for the instant
gratification of a hormonal high.
Tuesday 3 July 2012
Vindicated
So I meet a guy, and I’m sooo into him and surprisingly his
into me too. We talking for a while and the “serious” conversation comes up and
we talk about what we want.
The minute that conversation starts I get terrified. I realize
that I’m so full of fear its disgusting. I’m scared of commitment and at the
same time I’m scared he won’t commit. What the hell do I expect? Seriously? I manage
to self-destruct, beautifully if I might add. I do that often.
A day later I meet friends for coffee and one mentions a
fight she had with her boyfriend. She admits she’s terrified of losing him and
giving more love than she receives, since every other relationship ended that
way. He told her, because that is her fear, it will become her fate. He tells
her to let go of that, stop thinking, stop fearing. When you let go, you realize
that you CAN be happy. You are allowed to. We all are...
Saturday 30 June 2012
Freedom = Mermaid Syndrome
Freedom
What does it mean to be free? For some it means having
enough money to do whatever you want, for others its having no parents or
guardians to tell you what to do, for most it’s possibilities. I haven’t
figured out what it means for me yet, all I know is that I want it!
Desperately. From my experience it seems as if everyone does.
What is it that we all want to be free of?
“Then let us be rid of it” – The Lord of the Rings, the
Return of the King. They journey to a dangerous land, bound by a great evil.
This evil is a tool for great power. Power and the desire for it doesn’t seem
evil, and yet every story ever told revolves around the fact that there is one
power hungry individual that tramps on everyone and everything to get it. Is it
the power that’s evil? The object that gives us the power? The ring itself
isn’t evil, the objects that give us power isn’t evil. What is, is the desire
to do whatever it takes to get it… It’s us, the evil within us. The objects
magnify our greed. They give us an unnatural drive to own, that desperation to
do whatever it takes to get it.
In the movie, The Forbidden Kingdom, there is a fight over
the elixir of immortality. It is said that one sip of this brew brings an end
to mortal pain and desire. The elixir is freedom.
The common denominator in all stories is the lesson of greed,
fear, desire and power. We are taught in so many different ways not to give in
to these and yet we all do.
Greed…it all comes down to greed. Why would you feel the
need for freedom if you didn’t feel greed? Realistically we are all greedy,
whether we’re greedy in a relationship, or when it comes to shoes, or clothes,
or money, material things…in our minds we need these things to be “free”. We
think like this not only because we want to own, but because we want people to
envy us. We all want to be accepted and we think we will if people envy what we
have. We convince ourselves that if we have material things, we’ll be truly
happy, and being happy means you are free, loved, accepted.
He (or she) who is free of greed is free of fear and truly
understands what it means to be free.
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